We should never assume that everybody we know has been to a funeral.  Rather, there are people, many of whom we know- that have probably never been on a flight before, nor have they flown overseas, or even attended a wedding.  Therefore, we cannot assume that everybody knows what is expected of them, when it comes to attending a funeral; yet alone dressing appropriately for one.  We hope the following information allows individuals attending a funeral for the first time- to feel less daunted, rest assured that there is a first time for everything.  As always, if in doubt, ask.  Ask as many questions as you require to ensure that you are comfortable and feel at ease when attending a funeral for the very first time.

This beautiful country of ours is so diverse, multicultural and colourful.  There are no two funerals alike considering there are religious elements to consider, churches, cultural traditions, non-traditional funerals, such as memorial services and farewell services, etc. etc.  The key question for many is- what do I wear?

Funeral services have significantly changed in Australia over the past decade.  Once a funeral was considered to be a mournful and sombre occasion, whilst today it is common to have a celebration of life- as opposed to a sad funeral, where at the celebration of life- the farewell is more of a happy party.  We cannot make assumptions that all funerals are sad occasions.  You can still have a beautiful funeral, for example that of a 105-year-old grandfather who lived a wonderful and fulfilling life.  A funeral fit with beautiful flowers and the attendance of generations of the family on end.  This funeral wouldn’t necessarily be a sombre and sad occasion, but indeed a deserving celebration of life, of the extraordinary man that he was.  There are though distressing, very sad passings- that would not be celebrated at all.  Hence common sense prevails.

 Again, if in doubt ask.  Different cultures have different and many requirements and expectations when attending funerals.  For example, it is customary at Greek funerals to wear dark coloured clothing- preferably black- as a sign of mourning.  Traditionally a widow would not wear a bright red and yellow 2-piece suit to her husband’s funeral, unless it was a request from the husband to do so, or instructions from the family to wear bright, happy colourful attire.  Again, if in doubt- ask the questions- what do I wear?  What is expected of me?

 To be safe though, always wear conservative, neat and tidy attire.  Wear darker clothing, just to be safe, and do not bear too much flesh.  Ensure you wear comfortable shoes.  You may be standing for the duration of the service.  The church may possibly have no seats.  You may be in the condolence line for over an hour, yet alone stand at the cemetery for a long period of time also.  When you arrive, at the funeral service- if unsure, it’s ok- ask the funeral conductor any questions or concerns you may have.  Where may I sit?  May I enter?  It’s important you feel comfortable at the funeral rather than uncomfortable and awkward.